Did you ever think what this little word means; Life. The word itself is so vast that definitions fall short. Still people ask you what is the meaning of life? Blank. Ever changing-dynamic-mind blowing-non stop-happy sometimes-sad sometimes-tricky-dicey-loud-silent-noisy-fun-boring-full of moments-lonely hours-looney-funny, this is how my life is, it changes even before the clock shifts a second.
It was just yesterday that i met you and fell in love and today its all a memory something that my past had witnessed. Today your just like a bad dream to me.
Sometimes knowing someone is painful and sometimes not knowing? dicey na?
It is the last day and almost the first few seconds of the new year. I usually don’t party hard, celebrating the little moments of life is but a necessity to me. Just these last few seconds, they took me back in the past.
While growing up we forget that we are our 1st priority, and start adding things before us, things that are materialistic, duty or liability. When was the last time you had coffee out alone with yourself when you were happy? when did you catch a movie all by yourself? a walk? a cake? a lunch? all this when you were happy???
You usually celebrate your joy with others and its only sadness that reminds you of yourself.
I have a lot of friends since my early school days, i always had people around me. Never lonely or alone, but i had ample of time for myself. I had dreams and would tell myself that i will get there someday.
Then what changed from those school days to these college runs. Friends grew in number but the closeness reduced, people got busy with their dream and many new additions to the once simple goal. Life is never easy, but when you start fighting early you start feeling the need of a shoulder on which you can rest your head after a long day of fight. And trust me the biggest battle is finding one such shoulder which won’t take you as a load but be happy that you entrust in them.
You change with every episode of life and lessons of time make you stronger. Showing weakness is not acceptable in this race of survival, people tear you apart at the slightest hint of it.
Being the fairer sex is even more difficult and you find a way to shoo of people by being a tom boy or the tough girl. But that lil girl inside still wishes that someone would hug her and make her feel OK. And erase all the bruises that you have taken in the jest of life, hoping to have a brighter tomorrow.
I am 23 , trust me have seen so much for my age that I wish the journey was a little quick or at least a little shorter. In this beautiful yet pain-in-the-a** life, I met someone who I thought is, all that I needed.
Letting your guards off is difficult specially if, everyone says against that one (person) you want to let in. I ignored all the “beware”, “risk ahead” signs. And made room, for the 1st time in life I was turning the tomboyish me into a caring and nurturing girl. Being selfless and giving, I always felt it’s difficult and exhausting but it wasn’t, instead I felt peace.
A lot said!
Like they say nothing lasts for ever, my fantasy love story ended; Brutally!!!!!
I was broken and this time I couldn’t find all my parts. I trusted someone more then myself and I was let down. But the feeling remained!
365 days! Or Just 365 days, take it the way you want. When in love time literally flies and when in pain it becomes difficult to kill time.
Today is the last day of an eventful year, I saw a lot feelings that I didn’t knew were inside me. It took me 6 months, to finally come to terms with the fact that it’s over. I was never good at saying good bye, I believed in keeping people for life. It’s not always that you get what you want, so be it.
Last day of this year!
Don’t know what the coming year has in store for me.
But 2013 was some year, Thank you for your lessons and sweet memories. Your scars are treasured.